Pre-Results Day thoughts

This Thursday is a day I have been both dreading and looking forward to for months. Thinking about it has made me feel ill from the moment I sat my A-Levels. The fact that these exams can determine how the rest of my year or even life will go is so nerve-wracking. Throughout Year 13, I was confident in myself as I consistently achieved above the grade requirements for my dream university, but now I have that nagging feeling of what if I didn't do enough? I'm sure this is a common feeling amongst other people, but I just think I really didn't do sufficient revision for my A-Levels. Despite everyone telling me that I did, I still have that feeling as though I definitely could have done so much more with my time.

I keep trying to remind myself that it's not as though this is my last and only chance to do anything in life; there are a myriad of routes to getting into the sort of career I want to do, but this is still one of the easiest parts and would be a massive setback. I know my life wouldn't be over from this, but I would feel like it, and I would feel as though I would have let everyone around me down - on top of how embarrassing it would be. I know whatever happens on Thursday is a collection of my efforts during my time at sixth form, and I feel like I did all I could - but what if it just wasn't enough? And not all universities accept resits, and my sixth form doesn't always do a Year 14 for resits. I'm just so anxious about things not working in my favour.

I had the exact same feeling for GCSEs, and I think I did very well in them, if I do say so myself, but what if this is different? The people around me always say I'm being silly when I say these sorts of things, and I'm worried I come off as sort of an attention seeker when I say things like this, but I feel like I can't help it. I don't want to get my hopes up for results day, and so I feel like I just have to assume the worst. Even though I know that, realistically, it wouldn't make much of a difference in how I feel. I'm sort of split; a part of me fears the worst, but another part of me is saying it'll all be okay and I'll do amazing. The annoying part is I won't know which part of me was right until I receive my decisions. I truly hope it's the latter, and I'll get into my dream university, so I can have an easy and positively memorable day.

This was quite a short, negative post, I know, but I just sort of wanted to get my thoughts out before results day, and I don't think many people will read it, but if they do and are awaiting their results as well, I hope it maybe made them feel better about how they're feeling, or comforts them that they're not the only person thinking the way I do.